Drag mother Xilhouete on finding her purpose and embracing the meaning of family.
Xilhouete didn’t appear at any viewing parties or drag shows during its airing. Truth be told, she was upset and visibly hurt by how she was portrayed on Drag Race Philippines. “That’s not the totality of Xilhouete. That’s not the entirety of Wong Israel,” she says firmly. “No, I’m more than that.” With a steely resolve, she had intended to make the Homecoming Queens drag show at Nectar Nightclub last month to be her swan song. She only agreed to perform because it would be a moment to introduce her drag daughters to the world. At this point, Xilhouete wanted to retire from lip-syncing and focus her drag on making YouTube videos to reintroduce herself to the public to show the side of her that wasn’t seen on the show. It’s an avenue that she found to be healing, “I’m embracing the moment dahil sa kabila ng pait, may love and support naman.”
She had no idea how a post-Drag Race live audience would respond to her because she distanced herself from events. Overwhelmed and in tears upon receiving wild screams and cheers from the Homecoming Queens crowd, she says, “I thought I was being hated, and people didn’t like me. Regardless of what happened with me inside the show, sa past life ko, I still continue to believe that god has bigger plans.”
But much like her idol Cher, a farewell tour isn’t really what it means. She realized there was plenty of room to maneuver and abandoned her initial plan to step down the stage. The golden opportunity was a phone call from a Philippine entertainment mogul showing interest in managing her as a talent. “Alam mo ‘yung para kang naiiyak deep down kasi alam mong deserve mo siya? Alam mo ‘yung binigay mo ‘yung sarili mo nang buong-buo kaya kahit dinistrongka ‘yung storya, kusang nag-radiate ‘yung katotohanan in a way? Hindi mo mapipigilan ‘yung ways ni God at ng universe,” she believes. “Kahit i-block mo ‘yung road, ay ‘day, may lilikuan!”
The road to motherhood
Xilhouete gives importance to honoring what came before us and passing it on. It was, in fact, her deep attachment to it that became the driving force to join Drag Race. One of her main goals was to highlight the forgotten people who paved the way for drag artists to prosper, the Paper Dolls. “Ang past napakahalaga para ‘yung future mag-thrive,” she asserts. “Hindi naman pwedeng magaling ka lang tapos wala kang idea saan nanggaling ‘yang galing na ‘yan.” She understands that the amalgamation of her pain and triumphs carried her to this moment.
She fondly remembers her humble beginnings joining pageants, “Three years ako namayagpag sa Ms. Gay. Ang backstage maalikabok at hindi sementado ang lupa. Isang pirasong bumbilya na tinabingan ng katsya o gina cloth lang—doon ako galing eh.”
“Tapos ‘pag nakikita ko ‘yung ibang alaga ng manager ko—marami siyang alagang bakla—‘pag pinagmamasdan ko paano niya inaalagaan kami isa-isa, parang mas gusto ko ‘ata ‘yun. Lagi akong mesmerized. Tinitingnan ko pa’no niya kami binibihisan.”
It was when the chance to manage a disadvantaged beauconera who was vying for the title of Bb. Cabanatuan that things started to make sense. “Ito na ‘yung puso ko,” she remembers saying to herself. It’s a tight-knit community, and word travels fast. “And then parang naging magnet, naglapitan silang kusa.”
Meet the family
When Xilhouete was approached by one of the owners of Nectar Nightclub, she only had one thing in mind: “pagandahin ang Nectar, hindi para bigyan ng maraming ilaw, pagandahin in terms na punuin ng queer people, drag artists and form a family.”
And this is where the family started to take root, before slowly and surely reaching out to the sky.
MARLA
“Marla is well-rounded. She can even sing! Bago ako naging drag mom, bago ako nag-drag, this person was already in the industry. Many of you don’t know her name or who she is. Institusyon si Marla. Galing siya sa Lola Divas from Coco Banana at sila ang after ng Paper Dolls.”
BB MANIKA
“Walang katiwa-tiwala sa sarili niya noong una. Pinag-aral ko siya ng makeup para maging professional makeup artist. However, igi-give up niya dapat ang volleyball. If meron kang passion and dedication talaga, papatulan kita pero you have to promise me na talagang magfo-focus ka. And for you to focus, we need to remove ‘yung volleyball chenelyn para ‘yung kamay mo lumambot, gumaan. Kasi mabigat ‘pag puro ka tampal. Alam mo next thing I know pagka-graduate niya, nakita ko ‘yung improvement. ‘Yang ginagawa mo, hindi ko kaya ‘yan.’ Sobrang proud ako.”
XITRINA
“I was looking for young, talented drag queens. I want young sabi ko para gigil. Kapag bata kasi pwede ko baliin agad ‘yung sungay para matuto sila ng tama. Tapos sinend ‘yun, tapos sabi ko, ‘familiar ‘to, oh my god, ito ‘yung nakita kong lumabas sa feed ko out of nowhere. Sino ‘to?’ May problema kasi taga-Davao. ‘Ililipad ko, hindi problema!’ Kinausap ko ‘yung magulang. Binigyan ako ng letter na pinagkakatiwala sa’kin ‘yung bata.’
Siya ang secret weapon ko! Hinog na sa sayaw, pisikal, talent pero kailangan pa ng puso. ‘Yun ‘yung hihinugin natin. Gusto ko matutunan niya na hindi puro mukha, sayaw, at bibig. Kailangan meron tayong purpose, intention.”
LADY X
“She’s my pageant queen. She has this overflowing confidence. Kaya niyang mag-porn-porn pero may class. Kaya ko siya pinalanganang Lady tapos may X kasi lady-like tapos biglang, pak, pokpok, ganon!”
HURRICANE RICA
“She was my choreographer before. Hindi talaga siya drag queen ‘nung una. Sabi ko, ‘isasalang kita. Nakikita kong pwede ka.’ Eventually, ayan!”
MUAH DAYAW
“Magaling talaga siya sa dance! Parang kakabahan ka sa kanya, ganon!”
At the Homecoming Queens show, Xilhouete and her daughters performed Don’t Stop Believing, the Glee version. A meaningful moment and a wonderful song that doubles as a message passed down to the queens. “I want them to continue to aspire and push what we all started. Galingan niyo every time. Durugin niyo ‘yung stage!”
Leaving a lasting mark
Xilhouete welcomes her top four spot in Drag Race Philippines wholeheartedly. “Perfect exit. My perfect bow. My perfect moment to say goodbye,” she says proudly. “Trophy lang ‘yun. Ipapatong ko ‘yun sa shelf. Minsan maaalibukan pa, tatakpan ko. My desire has always been to protect, nurture, and make other people shine brighter. Kasi siguro walang nag-ganon sa’kin. Walang taong nag-cheer sa’kin other than my lola.”
Drag families are essential to drag culture and provide affiliation and opportunities to aspiring queens. To Xilhouete, it’s more than just sharing makeup tips, dressing them up, or learning the tricks of the trade. “It’s to have a system in place so that they can achieve what they want,” she shares. “Like, ang mga successful na artista, hindi naman lilipad ‘yan because lang sa talent nila eh. Lilipad sila because of great management that will guide and hone them.
While she admits that it’s often a splurgy duty, she goes on to say, “I learned also na hindi advisable when you have all the means. Kailangan may struggle din dapat. Kailangan may disappointment. Meron din tayong parang ‘bakit hindi ko ‘to makuha’ para maunawaan nila na ‘pag nakuha na nila.”
Xilhouete’s voice starts to crack at the thought of wanting to look back, not to her past this time but to what the long-lasting impact would look like on people she’s taken under her wing. “May mga bagay na ang sarap balikan. Babalikan ko ‘yun lahat kahit wala na ako. Makikita ko silang successful doing their drag, being who they are, living freely, and then passing it on to the next generation. Proudest moment ko ‘yun. It’s the legacy.”
Photography by RXANDY CAPINPIN (Xilhouete), NICCOLO COSME (Drag Daughters)
Art Direction by BRIE VENTURA
Sittings Editors ANGELO DE CARTAGENA & JUJIIN SAMONTE
Hair by RAFY CRUZ
